#mihael when he keehls you.........

[applestorms]

ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.

the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.

notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.

take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.

(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)

point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.

which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.

as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.

this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.

do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).

misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.

to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.

that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.

anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.

[rawrlight]

(template on pinterest)

[official-mello]

does rod ross have a crusty scalp yes or no

I can't answer that... for my own safety.

[paradisepoisoned]

“Bang! Bang! That awful sound…”

This was just supposed to be a quick doodle, but as you can see… I got a little carried away.

P.S: Curse you @brothercrush for saying it better than I ever could. You saw the vision.

“BOYKING WHO WILL NEVER BE HIS DADDY.” 🖤

[threshasaurus-writes]

In Charge, Chapter 29: Honesty

Fandom: Death Note (no Death Note AU)

Characters: Near, Matt, Mello, L, Teru Mikami, a whole bunch of cameos from canon characters as supporting cast

Ships: Shippy Gen with a friendship triangle (whee!)

Rating: M for violence and Mikami (you'll see) Summary:

Summary:

Matt, Mello and Near work under their mentor, world-famous genius detective L, training to become detectives someday themselves. Matt is generally okay with being in third place when compared to Mello and Near, but things are about to change. When Near suddenly collapses while he and Matt are home alone, the redhead finds himself in charge for the first time ever.

Matt rushes Near to the hospital. Just as a friendship begins to form between the two boys, Mello arrives and complicates the dynamic. Things go from bad to worse, as Near's obsessive nurse Mikami abducts him from the hospital, and Matt, Mello and L must work together to recover him.

(Continuing to add to my Death Note fanfic I first published in 2008. it's only a few chapters from finished after this, so I'm gonna finish it once and for all. We have to get Near some closure for all that I've put him through...

Chapter 1 has detailed content warning info, so be sure to read the author's note!)

Read it here on AO3!

Read it here on FFN!

[god-of-this-new-blog]

Death note characters draw themselves — inspired by @ponury-grajek and the extra bit in the manga about Misa drawing!

[soberstardom]

JEALOUSY? — デスノート

SUMMARY. ❦. — death note characters having jealous moments.

CHARACTERS. 𓉸ྀི — yagami light, lawliet l, amane misa, touta matsuda, mihael keehl (mello), jeevas mail (matt), mikami teru.

REQUEST. 𖦹 — N/A

WARNINGS. ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — jealousy, some mentions of killing, (semi-romanticized) possessive men + women.

A/N. ౨ৎ — this took way longer than it should've. i apologize deeply. also, i do not write for nate river (near) as i'm not the biggest fan of his general character, personally. also, the reader is presented as female.

LINKS. .ᐟ.ᐟ — PINNED POST. | MASTERLIST.

YAGAMI LIGHT — (夜神 月 ライト)

> 私は想像します — he'd be manipulative . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — ah, yes, light yagami. where do i start?

꩜ .ᐟ — this manipulative god of the new world would do exactly as his name implies. manipulate.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would most likely coerce you into giving him the individuals name and other personal details.

꩜ .ᐟ — later on, however, he would hold this against you. but, not in a 'blackmail', sort of way, no.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would use it as leverage to shut down any more ideas forming in your pretty little mind.

꩜ .ᐟ — what i mean by that is, he would use that and turn it against you by saying you're such a good girl for giving that said information to your lord. he would say that he loves you and that he only gave him a heart attack, nothing more.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would end it off by saying that you are his. his goddess. his lover. his servant. and nothing will change that.

LAWLIET L — (エル・ローライト)

> 私は想像します — he'd be logical . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, i personally believe that L is not the type to get jealous.

꩜ .ᐟ — he genuinely trusts you, and doesn't believe that you'd commit adultery. especially towards him.

꩜ .ᐟ — however, we're only human and as a result, we have our moments.

꩜ .ᐟ — L, if he felt jealous, would be either very broad and upfront, or very doubtful and unsure.

꩜ .ᐟ — i say this because L is a very smart and straightforward man who has no shame in voicing his thoughts.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, since you're his first relationship, he has less knowledge in this field and that could make him feel insecure.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, regardless of that, you discover his feelings eventually and comfort him with loving words and reassurance.

꩜ .ᐟ — you two ate strawberry cake together afterwards.

AMANE MISA — (弥 海砂)

> 私は想像します — she would be clingy . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — misa would definitely be whiny and clingy, demanding your attention.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would never let it go and would probably be still asking about the same individual a week after that occurrence happened.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would be asking who they were, why did they approach you, do you like them more than her, do you like them at all, etc.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would try and buy you things and take you put on more extravagant dates to try and make sure you know she's better.

꩜ .ᐟ — she also did that to try and soothe her paranoia.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, she couldn't stop thinking about it, and eventually started ranting about it more.

꩜ .ᐟ — due to her eyes, she threatened to kill them if you ever converse with them again.

꩜ .ᐟ — she's a handful, but you love her, don't you?

TOUTA MATSUDA — (松田 桃太)

> 私は想像します — he would be self-critical . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, matsuda already isn't confident in his abilities due to the amount of criticism he already gets from his team. (that's deserved, lol.)

꩜ .ᐟ — and seeing you, his gorgeous girlfriend, talking with one of the higher ranking members is yet another blow to his self-esteem.

꩜ .ᐟ — he wouldn't voice it right away, choosing to sulk instead.

꩜ .ᐟ — you didn't think much of it at first. however, once his mini pout phase didn't go away, you began to worry.

꩜ .ᐟ — after a while of 'what's wrong matsu?' and 'its nothing y/n!', he finally gave in.

꩜ .ᐟ — he told you how it made him feel when you spoke to the other men and apologized in the case that he seemed immature, but of course you didn't mind.

꩜ .ᐟ — you two sorted it out maturely and went to sleep soon after.

KEEHL MIHAEL (MELLO) — (ミハエル・ケール) + (メロ)

> 私は想像します — he would be territorial . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — i'm sure you're not surprised, considering mello's bold, aggressive personality.

꩜ .ᐟ — he isn't scared to tell people what belongs to him. that goes for you too, since you do belong to him.

꩜ .ᐟ — whenever he sees someone hitting on you, he goes off. and i mean, OFF.

꩜ .ᐟ — he yells at the person and will definitely land some punches while practically screaming "DON'T YOU HEAR ME?! SHES MINE!" at the guy while you're trying to pull him off.

꩜ .ᐟ — once he was done, he would give you a kiss while whispering 'mine.' and he would quickly drag you away with a iron grip on your wrist.

꩜ .ᐟ — once you got home, you two were cuddling in bed all day while he kept on reminding you that you are his. <3

JEEVAS MAIL (MATT) — (マイル=ジーヴァス) + (マット)

> 私は想像します — he'd play it off . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — matt is a member in mello's gang that's known for being cocky and overconfident.

꩜ .ᐟ — due to that, he doesn't get jealous often. well, that and because he trusts you and doesn't see the need.

꩜ .ᐟ — BUT, on the off chance he does get jealous, it could go one of two ways.

꩜ .ᐟ — one, he plays it off with a smirk and a puff of his cigarette, or two, he just mocks the person straight to their face. with no regrets, may i add.

꩜ .ᐟ — he earns a smack in the back of the head, for that.

꩜ .ᐟ — but don't get your hopes up. he's not going to admit he was ever jealous. (not that he needs to. it's obvious, lol.)

MIKAMI TERU — (魅上 照)

> 私は想像します — he would be aggravated. . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, mikami is a man of order and structure. he enjoys schedules and planning. he looks forward to the same things each day.

꩜ .ᐟ — however, this criminal defense lawyer can't help but feel the slightest bit of aggravation when he sees this, nobody, approaching his partner.

꩜ .ᐟ — of course, the calms himself down since x-kira can blow his cover, can he?

꩜ .ᐟ — so he let you have that little interaction with them, and continued on with your guys' day not showing much acknowledgement towards what happened.

꩜ .ᐟ — but once you guys got home and he proceeded to his office, we all know what he did.

꩜ .ᐟ — delete, delete, delete.

— @soberstardom 2024. — please don't repost or translate.

[satorusluver]

Minors DNI

Mihael "praise kink" Keehl who scoffs and rolls his eyes when you teasingly call him a good boy. But then you see him leave and come back a few minutes later having inexplicably put on one of his dramatically long coats indoors because he most definitely popped a boner from it and those leather pants do nothing to hide it.

[alarici]

State of decay

Rated T, 950 words

-

In the years since the Kira case, with Near at the helm, and L and Watari long since buried in the plot beside the west wing, what was once called The Wammy’s House decays.

It takes seven years to fully dismantle the program. The youngest children need to find foster homes or new families or other, carefully vetted, well-funded programs to matriculate into. The older children are graduated and placed in the best universities around the world—set to become the everyday successes of tomorrow. Tsinghua, Juilliard, Cairo, LSE, UCLA, Tohoku, ETH Zurich, Oxford. The residual funds are allocated appropriately to make sure that everyone is well taken care of. Study funds and stipends, merit grants and insurance.

Personally, Near sees to the edge cases. Kids who, according to the headmasters and the instructors, never lived up to the promise of their aptitude testing—the weak, the attention deficit, the headcases. He speaks to each one—Do you want to live alone? Do you want to learn a skill and work? Do you want to go back to where they found you? What are your medical needs.

It’s dispassionate work that he takes on in his limited spare time. The dismantling of the program was not necessarily his idea, but he saw it to the end.

By 2024, L Lawliet has been dead for almost two decades. Enough time for a child to grow and have a child of their own. Near has no children—will never and can never—and finds this fact amusing.

At exactly 13:23 GMT on 21 October, 2024, Near celebrates a homecoming of sorts.

—

The grounds have been left to wither. The estate is unsellable—or, nobody wants to bother selling it to a Silicon valley expat or a London financier’s portfolio. After all, it was a school. Renovations would be required.

When Near is driven into town and left there—”I’ll get there from here, thank you,”—he overhears, in a quiet cafe, that the children think the mansion on the hill is haunted. “Halloween” is an American holiday that is not celebrated in England. The evening is foggy and limpid. The sky threatens an afternoon rain.

He arrives at the wrought iron gates at 15:13. He knows there is nothing for him, here. But he’s already been given this time to pay his respects. A holiday of sorts. Never in the past twenty years has he kneeled before graves. He expects he won’t today, either. There is nobody here to pay respects to. Mello is buried in an unmarked plot in a quiet district of Tokyo. The stake on the eastern edge of the property in Winchester—In Memoriam, Mihael Keehl—is growing moss. Near stops by this landmark, first. Many colleagues and coworkers, commanding officers and cadets, have died since Mello. Near has not kept track of many of their names.

Mello’s memorial has not been cared for. They stopped sending groundskeepers to the property in 2019. Near carries a book in one hand, his plastic cane in the other. He stares at the spike, leans on the arm brace, and considers the most respectful acknowledgment of this memorial. This isn’t what he came here to do. Mihael Keehl—no, Mello—has been dead for more than a decade. In that time, Near has solved more than five hundred cases. A-Kira. The Hong Kong murders. The Dubai trafficking ring. A few stray Death Notes.

In the years elapsed, the loss has simmered. Like soup, which Near has seen others make (his current boyfriend is fond of cutting the mirepoix into centimeter by centimeter cubes) the thought of Mello is turbid and wafts around him constantly. However, there is no room for the what if. There is only the course the universe bent, that day.

Near, in his own way, has paid his respect. Said his thank yous, if he owes any thanks. He bows, as far as he can manage, to the spiritless grave. He does not kneel.

In Tokyo, Mello’s bones are likely rusting, rotting in the temperate soil. Were he buried here, at 51° latitude, he may still have his skin, in death. But this is unimportant. He would not wish to be buried here.

Near bows, and says two prayers for the dead. He knows a Latin version as well as a Hebrew. To this day, he does not know if Mello died religious—died believing in any gods beyond those he had met and been scorned by.

“Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.”

“יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא.”

He adds a hymn Mello might have sung for his parents in the dialect he most likely spoke before his life as a successor began.

“Святой Юмо, Святой Куатле, Святой Колыдымо, мемнам серлаге.”

Near has been told not to pass judgment on the irrationality of faith, so he has learned the hymns. The grass grows tall around Mello’s stake.

One year, Near had gotten angry about it. Back when he was twenty one or twenty two—inconsequential—and awake for forty hours, Near had raged at a silent room over it, and never again. And the anger was not about the death, nor about Near’s inheritance, his duty. Not Mello’s mistakes nor his sacrifice. Likely, looking back with the hindsight and wisdom of a man ten years older, Near images he experienced as much grief as he was capable of, that night. There was no grave to stand over, and there was no body, in the small room in Cape Canaveral when Near was twenty one. No surviving images of him. No letters nor notebooks. The bout of rage, insanity, grief (he cautions to call it) was triggered by a smell (something sweet burning), of all things. And had subsided with the yellow dawn.

The frustration was likely at being left alone. Of his own inefficacy in his first trial, and the acknowledgement that a man like Mello had deserved to live to see more days. Had deserved better than a pine wood stake on a lonely corner of the grounds of the school where he was raised and an unmarked plot in Adachi City, Tokyo.

Next, Near walks slowly towards the house itself. A jackrabbit sprints across the lawn in front of him. A hawk circles to the north. 

[applestorms]

@jessaerys ok shit this took a while but WHATEVER. wammy's lore collection here we go :3c less analysis this time, this is mostly just to archive the main known details we have in canon about the house, and also the people from there more generally. however much you wanna accept all this/take it at face value is up to You, Dear Reader (and tbh y'all should just read all these if ur curious since they're all pretty short + have Interesting narrators. i'll include links to free versions). do whatever you want forever etc. etc. also, SPOILERS. obviously.

LABB: (listen here)

no this book isn't written by ohba. yes i'm including it. shush. anyways, most of the lore in this comes from mello's vague comments about beyond's backstory, but there's a Lot of interesting things established in this, so. here's a bunch of notable quotes. if you're not already familiar, please keep in mind that the narrator of this novel is mello, writing at some point shortly before his death.

"L. The century's greatest detective. In light of his staggering mental abilities, L died an unjust and untimely death. In the public record alone he solved over 3,500 difficult crimes, and sent three times that number of degenerates to prison. He wielded incredible power, was able to mobilize every investigative bureau in the entire world, and was applauded generously for his efforts. And during it all, he never showed his face." (pg. 10)

"So, what you're reading now are my notes about L. It's a dying message, not from me, and not directed at the world. The person who will most likely read this first will probably be that big-headed twit Near. But if that's the case, I will not tell him to shred or burn these pages. If it causes him pain to discover that I knew things about L that he did not, then that's fine." (pg. 10-11)

"I am one of the few people who ever met L as L. When and how I met him...this is the single most valuable memory I have, and I will not write it here, but on that occasion L related to me three stories of his exploits, and the episode involving Beyond Birthday was one of these." (pg. 11)

"Obviously, it never came to light that L--and more importantly, Wammy's House, which raised me until I was fifteen--was deeply connected to the matter, but in fact, they were. L, on principle, never got involved in a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake, and this is the real reason why he belatedly, but aggressively, involved himself in this little case, which only ever had three or four victims. I will explain further in the pages that follow, but for this reason, the case of the Los Angeles BB murders is a watershed event for L, for me, and even for Kira. It was a monumental event for all of us. Why? Because this is the case where L first introduced himself as Ryuzaki." (pg. 11)

"For any one else but those two [Near and Kira], my identity may be of no interest, but I am the old world's runner-up, the best dresser that died like a dog, Mihael Keehl. I once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago. Good memories and nightmares." (pg. 12)

"She [Naomi Misora] briefly considered the idea that Raye Penber, or someone else, was playing a practical joke on her, but she found it hard to believe that anyone would be so bold to sign their name as such. L never revealed himself in public or in private, but Misora had heard several horror stories about what happened to detectives who tried passing themselves off as L. It was safe to say that no one would dare use his name, even in jest." (pg. 18)

"This was L, so he was undoubtedly solving several other difficult cases all at once. Cases all over the world. For him, this case was just one of many parallel investigations. How else could he maintain his reputation as the world's greatest detective? The century's greatest detective, L. The detective with no clients." (pg. 35)

"L had earned a certain degree of hostility from other detectives, and the jealous ones called him a hermit detective, or a computer detective, but neither of these is a particularly accurate representation of the truth. Naomi Misora had also tended to think of L as an armchair detective, but in fact, L was quite the opposite, a very active, aggressive individual. [swoon.] While he had absolutely no interest in social connections, he was certainly not the kind of detective to shut himself up in a dark room with the shades drawn and refuse to come out. It is now common knowledge that the three great post war detectives, L, Eraldo Coil and Danuve were all actually the same person. Certainly, anyone reading these notes is almost certain to know...though they may not know that L engaged in a war with the real Eraldo Coil, and the real Danuve, and emerged victorious, claiming their detective codes. The details of this detective war I will save for another occasion, but in addition to those three names, L possessed many other detective codes. I have no idea how many, but there were at least three digits' worth. And quite a number of those were fairly public detectives--just like, as anyone reading these notes must know, he appeared before Kira, calling himself Ryuzaki or Ryuga Hideki. Of course, Naomi Misora had no way of knowing this, but in my opinion, the name L was, for him, just one of many. He never had any direct connection to that identity, he never thought of himself as L--it was just the most famous and most powerful of the many detective codes he used during his life. The name had its uses, but lacked obscurity. L had a real name that nobody knew, and nobody will ever know, but a name which only he knew never defined him. I sometimes wonder if L himself ever knew exactly which name was written in the Death Note, which name it was that killed him. I wonder." (pg. 43-44)

"If we must discuss why L so adamantly refused to reveal himself, we can explain it very simply: doing so was dangerous. Very dangerous. While the world leaders should make efforts to ensure the safety of all the finest minds, not only for detectives, the fact is that the current societal systems do not allow for this, and L believed he had no choice but to protect his mind under his own power. By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on defusing risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they would greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity. Not because he was shy, or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety. For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered." (pg. 69 nice)

"So whenever L was working, he would usually have someone else as his public face--and in this particular case, the FBI agent Naomi Misora was filling that role." (pg. 70)

"Beyond Birthday had the eyes of a shinigami congenitally. It was not particularly difficult for him to track down people with the initials B.B. or find people who were fated to die on a certain day at a certain time." (pg. 94)

"Normally contact with a shinigami was a prerequisite for acquisition, but Beyond Birthday had traded nothing--he had seen through those eyes since before he could remember. He knew your name before you said it. He knew the time of death of every person he met." (pg. 94)

"You might think [the eyes] would hardly be useful without a Death Note, but that is simply not the case. The ability to see someone's remaining life is the ability to see death. Death, death, death. Beyond Birthday lived his life unceasingly reminded that all humans would eventually die. From the time he was born he knew the day his father would be attacked by a thug and die, knew the day his mother would die in a train crash. He had these eyes before he was born, which is why he called himself Beyond Birthday. Which is why a child as strange as he was taken in by our home, sweet home--Wammy's House. He was B. The second child in Wammy's House." (pg. 94-95)

"The competition between L and B. L and B's puzzle. 'If L's a genius, then B's an extreme genius. If L's a freak, then B's an extreme freak. Now it's time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.' This thought was the only thing that made him laugh without needing to think about it. And those that know will recognize the laugh of the shinigami. Still grinning to himself, he faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup. The reflection of himself in the mirror. Himself. As always, he could not see his own time of death. No more than he could see the death of the world." (pg. 96)

"We were raised at Wammy's House in England, in Winchester, as L's successors, as L's alternatives, but that does not mean we knew anything more about L than anyone else. Including myself, only a few of us ever met L as L, and even I knew nothing about L before he met Watari--Quillish Wammy, the genius inventor who founded Wammy's House. Nobody knows what's going on in L's head. But even so, I know how Watari felt. Looking at L's incredible talents from the perspective of an inventor--of course he wanted to make a copy, of course he wanted to create a backup. Anyone would feel the same. As I have already explained, L never appeared in public. L knew that his own death would increase the crime rate all over the world by a few dozen percentage points. But what if they could copy him? What if they could make a backup? That was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world.

"But even for a genius like Watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. Even for Near and I, who were said to be the closest to L...the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the father away he was, like chasing a mirage. So I hardly need to tell you what it was like when Wammy's House was first founded, when he was still experimenting. The first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, Beyond Birthday, was brilliant and deviant. B stood for Backup.

"But B tried to surpass L, not become him...no, that might not be right. I have no way of knowing the inner workings of his mind. He...their generation was not like the fourth generation, with Near and I, all the children bound only to the code with the serial L. They were prototypes, never even given the L code, expected to fail. I prefer to refrain from idle speculation based on my own experiences, but, well, Beyond Birthday may have thought something like this: As long as there was L, B would never be L. As long as the original existed, the copy was always a copy." (pg. 104-105)

"The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. L.A.B.B.--L is After Beyond Birthday. This reading is why I think this name is so much closer to the killer's intentions than the Wara Ningyo Murders, or the Los Angeles Serial Locked Room Killings. I wasn't talking about the names on a purely stylistic basis. Whether Beyond Birthday had put that much thought into it I have no idea, but if he had a specific reason for choosing to commit his murders in L.A., then that is probably why. I am sure he had a much more personal obsession with L as an individual than Near or I ever did. I can understand why someone would become a criminal in order to fight against a detective, which is why I can write something like this, but even so. What did he hope to accomplish by killing unrelated people? Or perhaps B simply wanted to meet L. Then he could use the eyes of the shinigami he'd been born with and see L's real name, see when L would die. He would be able to figure out who L was. Beyond Birthday had never told anyone that he had the eyes of a shinigami, and it would not surprise me at all if he believed himself to be some kind of shinigami." (pg. 105-106)

"Beyond Birthday challenged L. And L accepted the challenge. To put it bluntly, the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases were nothing but an internal struggle, a civil war within our home, sweet home-- Wammy's House. Unfortunate for the victims that got mixed up in it, but even if Beyond Birthday had not killed them, all those victims were fated to die that day, at that time, for some other reason, so logically and morally, their deaths were unavoidable. So in the strictest sense of the word, the only one who really got mixed up in their war was Naomi Misora." (pg. 106)

"L was said to never move on a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake. The only exceptions to this were cases at difficulty level L (extremely fitting), or when L had personal reasons compelling him to get involved. The Los Angeles BB Murders were both of these. I hardly need to point out the difficulty by this stage of the story, and L was essentially fighting his own dead copy. [harsh, dude.] The current head of Wammy's House had told Quillish Wammy/Watari, who had told L about B's disappearance in May, and ever since L had been looking for him even as he solved other cases. Wammy's House only knew him as B--they did not know his real name, Beyond Birthday, so this search was near impossible, but L knew who the killer was. He had not been looking for a killer so much as he was looking for a case. L had been waiting, expecting Beyond Birthday to do something to challenge him. L could move any policeman in the world, but in this case, he could not ask anyone for help except Naomi Misora...more than likely, for this reason. I don't think L really put that much stock in honor, but everyone is embarrassed by their own sins, and nobody wants those missteps to become public knowledge. L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Every one of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal." (pg. 116-117)

"No matter what she did, she had no way of knowing. That this killer, Beyond Birthday, could tell someone's name and time of death just by looking at their face, that he had been born with the eyes of a shinigami--she had no way of knowing that fake names were useless with him, completely and utterly pointless. How could she have known? Even Beyond Birthday himself could not explain how he had been born with the eyes of the shinigami, how he could use them with no payment, with no arrangement. Neither Misora nor L knew why, and, obviously, neither do I. The closest thing to an explanation I can offer is that there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." (pg. 193-140)

"'So, Naomi Misora...' said L, wrapping up. But Misora hastily stammered, 'Um, er, L...' but then she hesitated, not sure if she should ask this or not. 'You...know the killer, right?' 'Yes, as I said. He is B.' 'I don't mean like that...I mean, he's someone you know personally?' On the 16th, L had said that he had known the killer was B, and she had sort of known ever since, but two days before, L had said something that changed her guess to conviction. Whatever you do, please catch the killer. The century's greatest detective, L, would never say that about some ordinary indiscriminate serial killer. And the way his letter was just one letter long... 'Yes,' the synthetic voice agreed." (pg. 144-145)

"'I have nothing to do with him,' L said. 'To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgement. Certainly, I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice.'" (pg. 145)

"My great and respected predecessor, the man whose actions were a strong influence on me personally, B, B.B., Beyond Birthday--obviously, I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain--he was challenging the man he copied, the century's greatest detective L. A matter of winning or losing. A contest." (pg. 159)

"Since L could solve every case no matter how challenging, if he created a case so difficult that L as unable to solve it, B would have defeated L." (pg. 159)

"He knew that the moment he took action Wammy's House and Watari would alert L, so he did not even bother trying to stop them. He could only guess at which stage of his plan L would start to come after him, so he prepared things carefully, ready for L's entrance at any point." (pg. 159)

"B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki--L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter--and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance. even Naomi Misora knew what had happened to detectives falsely identifying themselves as L, and B was from Wammy's House, so he knew this better than anyone--so this choice suggests the strength of his decision. He never once intended to survive--had had made up his mind. He was ready." (pg. 160) [trans. note: the name "Rue" in Japanese, ルエ (ru-e), is an anagram of エル (e-ru), which is how L is pronounced.]

"Naturally, his face and fingerprints would burn as well--he had always disguised himself with heavy makeup while he was with Misora, and he never left a picture behind, so even if someone directly affiliated with Wammy's House inspected the body, they would have no idea that Rue Ryuzaki/Beyond Birthday was B from Wammy's House. He had left nothing to connect Beyond Birthday to B." (pg. 162)

"B was presenting the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases to L as a case that could never be solved. That L could never solve. In other words, he had never prepared any clear solution to it--since the killer had committed suicide, disguised as the fourth victim, there was no longer a killer to catch, and no clues left to catch him with." (pg. 163)

"My poor, poor predecessor. Not only was he utterly and completely defeated, but he survived, driving home his embarrassment...he must have longed for death. Accept my condolences, B." (pg. 169-170)

"If I had space left over I had intended to carry right on into the other two stories I heard from L: the story of the detective war between the three greatest detectives, all solving that infamous bio-terror case, with guest appearances by the last of the alphabet, the first X to the first Z from Wammy's House; and the story of how the world's greatest inventor, Quillish Wammy, aka Watari, had first met L, then about eight year's old--the case that gave birth to the century's greatest detective, the Winchester Mad Bombings that occurred just after the third World War. But however objectively I look at things, I do not have the space or the time. Oh well." (pg. 170)

"She had spoken to L only once after the killer was arrested. He thanked her for helping to solve the case, and told her just a little about the background of the case. That B had been a candidate to succeed L, and that the pressure of that had driven him off track." (pg. 171)

"And a few years after his arrest, on January 21st, 2004, serving a life sentence in a California prison, Beyond Birthday died of a mysterious heart attack." (pg. 173)

C-KIRA: (read here)

near grief :pensive: pretty sure this was animated in the anime movie thing?? tbh i still need to watch that. Very interesting as some of the most recent post-main story lore we get about wammy's imo. less quotes now + more summarizing since these are just comics

near has apparently only "talked" to L once (in quotes since he didn't actually say anything, just sat in the back of the room doing a puzzle the entire time. real asf girl)

during this "conversation," roger or one of the orphanage heads set up the usual L screen + a camera/mic so that L could see all the kids and answer their questions.

notably, mello & near didn't ask any questions, just lurked in the back watching L with a "nasty look in [their] eyes," which near assumes is what made him pick them to be his top successors, considering the fact that he didn't actually look at any of their data. (somewhat seems to imply that L didn't actually give a shit about grades or anything like that when picking his main successors?)

while answering questions, near is caught off guard by one of L's answers. to transcribe it all directly here--

NEAR (NARRATING): At the time, I didn't think L would put it so bluntly. L: It's not a sense of justice. L: Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. L: The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly... For me too, its simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. L: That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being, who hates losing...

not quite the monster speech, but fascinating all the same. near seems to imply that this answer sent some kids into a despair spiral, but it actually caused him to like L more and more, feeling that he was, "exactly the kind of person who wanted to achieve his own goals." kinda goes against the HTR13 ohba comment? shrug

The Wammy's House/L's One Day: (read here)

honestly i interpret these comics as like. canon crack fic. but anyways, here's the established L lore included in these two.

L was taken into wammy's as a nameless orphan at an unknown but likely quite young age

very soon after arriving he beats up all the other kids he meets--

he is "utterly incompatible," with all the other kids and monopolizes all the things he likes simply cause he's stronger than them and presumably could fight them for it-- naturally, he ends up usually just playing by himself

notably, this all establishes that L isn't the first kid at wammy's, that there was already at least one generation of older kids living there before he got there (and could eventually turn it into an L successor creating machine)

once watari realizes that L has some outstanding mental abilities, he gives him his own private room and a computer. afterwards, L spends most of his time sitting in front of the puter by himself

L requests that watari buy 1 million pounds with Japanese yen and tells him which stocks to buy, causing his assets to reach "almost 20,000 times the original amount," in two years. visually this is depicted as happening when L is still quite young

several years later, L stumbles across a serial murder case in the news, which is the first he solves, starting his new career path

-

L can stay awake for 100+ hours and then gets over it by sleeping for like 17 hours. pictures also may imply that he doesn't actually sleep in a bed, but just lies down sideways in his chair. RIP yotsuba light's perfectly designed sleep schedule

L also shits/pisses in the same position he usually sits in (frog-pose), facing the tank south park style

he is a big fan of cleanliness!! human washing machine etc. etc. honestly i think this is just another way for him to hold that same crouched position

text says he always has, "ten or so identical sets of clothes prepared for him," since he's picky about it, but the art itself shows way more than ten. also rare shirtless L moment?? (watari helps)

L does in fact go outside!! he likes roller coasters/theme parks, swinging, art galleries, live music, etc. though most of the time he just sits in his room thinking thru shit n solving cases.

[morphinejunkie]

hii how are you? i hope you’re doing well :) i really love your fanfic crush, i’m writing a mello fanfic myself, but i’m having such a hard time capturing his essence, sometimes i get carried away writing him but then i realize it’s not really accurate, i either make him too angry, too much this, too much that, idk, do you have any tips for me? (only if you want, i just really love how you portray him, i think it’s really accurate so i thought what’s better than to ask you?) <3 ✨🌸

thank you very much!

mello was a character i struggled to write at first too. he’s a delicate tightrope walk between intelligence, aggression, coolness and (in my opinion) brevity. personally i find that the hardest thing is striking a balance that encompasses all four.

so i’ll break it down, this is what worked best for me.

1. use canon

the way i wrote mello, i referenced the original manga (and voice/diction in the dub anime) a lot. i would first listen to his lines and try to internalize his voice. and then i would study his body language in his panels and try to shift that body language and attitude into whatever scenario i’m writing.

mello is a pretty layered character, which i think a lot of people struggle with. he plays up the characteristics that people often associate with him (i.e. in the call with the president, he acts taunting and brash) when on his own turf he’s actually very calculating and careful (i.e. any scene in the mafia - he’s often staring into space, sprawled into a relaxed but aggressive position, and thinking).

i think a big thing to remember too is that mello made many decisions in canon that need to be backed up to create a holistic view of who he is. reverse-engineering mello’s character from his actions was a huge part of how i developed my mello as well - “why did mello do this? what motivations were urging him to do the thing he did? why are his emotions this way while he’s doing it?”

general rule of thumb is: if your mello would not do the things that canon mello did, the way that canon mello did, he’s probably ooc.

2. take him as a whole - not parts of him

i focused a lot of my energy on trying to capture mello as a whole. a lot of it is meeting mello where he is, not where you want him to be. assuming he is fully formed, an actual person, and you are getting to know him, not creating him from scratch. when i was no longer concerned about making mello do things that i wanted him to do, and instead interacting WITH mello as a fully formed character, i found it natural to hear his voice. near the end of crush i felt like i was just documenting them with a camera while matt & mello did what they did. they moved almost completely on their own and i was just there to capture it.

for me, especially in the beginning, i would often “practice” by throwing both matt & mello into a scenario with no expectation or plot, and seeing how they play off each other, without trying to move them from point a to point b. i found that let me understand their characters better — better than say a character study or a self-reflection would. in fact the bar scene was that exercise for me, and ended up setting the tone for the rest of the fic.

3. figure out all the different ways you can read mello, and figure out which works best for you

the one thing is, even if you study mello and take him as who he is, there’s not a lot to work from off the original series. a lot of him is further developed in fandom, and so there are various camps of interpretations of mello that are all equally valid & sound. i found that mapping out exactly how mello can be interpreted and figuring out where my mello lay on that scale helped me a lot in determining what i found was personally ic/ooc.

funnily enough this matrix was really helpful even though it was just a stupid joke post from back in the day. i really liked the way “mihael keehl” talked, i found it so cool and grounding. “priss” still exists though the details or manner of speaking has changed over the years, in fact twinky/glamourous mello remains one of the most common interpretations of his character which i personally rejected (i don’t think it reflects his body language in canon at all). “batshit” mello is time and place for me, but ultimately, not how i like to write him (as it only explains some of his actions in canon but not all).

of course writing mello in the end is wholly depends on your personal preference - you could do all of this and still end up with a different vision of mello as i did. as long as he is fully fleshed out to you, the details don’t matter.

[neallo]

supernatural au meronia where mello starts living in a house haunted by a victorian child ghost

hi ahgjdksghsd i love this prompt. i did not parse this initially as "near is the victorian child ghost," which i think is maybe what you meant, so i did not write that. however! i hope you will still enjoy this. ~850 words, not really edited, may eventually continue :3c

When he hears the knock on the door, Mello is expecting it. He has an appointment, and his guest is two minutes early, which he appreciates. His time isn’t worth much, anymore, but he still prefers not to waste it.

He crosses the large, creaking house, with its dust and cobwebs and half-full cardboard boxes, and swings the front door open, a greeting on his lips. The words die in his throat before he can get them out, though, and his body freezes there in the frame. He gapes.

“Hello,” the boy on his porch says. “Is this the residence of Mihael Keehl?”

Mello’s brain whirs, trying to make sense of several concurrent realizations.

One: the boy on his porch is not the person he made an appointment with. 

Two: this boy is, without a doubt, the most beautiful creature Mello has ever seen in his entire life. He has short, wavy, snow-white hair, the face of an angel, and the big-shiny eyes of a baby cow. His mouth is pink, and perfect.

Three: this boy is also, without a doubt, a boy he went to school with. A boy he spent twelve years in cut-throat competition with, and who he came second to, over and over. A boy he was routinely, unnecessarily cruel to, in ways no one would ever forgive or forget. Near.

“What?” Mello hears himself say. He sounds really, really stupid.

“I am visiting on behalf of the Lawliet Center for Spirit Management Services,” Near says crisply. “My appointment is with one Mihael Keehl.”

It occurs to him, then, that Near never knew his real name. He doesn’t know Near’s, either. Wammy’s had a number of unconventional methods, and one was the early assignment of and strict adherence to aliases, even outside of school walls.

You are no longer yourself, they told the children. You’re one of many, yet still unique. You are exceptional, now.

It was a weird-ass school. Mello’s never gonna finish unpacking all the shit they went through there.

“That’s me,” he says faintly, belatedly. “Are you the exorcist?”

“My name is Nate River,” the man says crisply, pulling a business card out of the pocket of his button-down shirt and presenting it to Mello, “though you may also call me Near. I am a professional esper. My abilities include exorcism, which is the service I understand you are seeking today, but that is hardly the extent of them.”

Numbly, Mello takes the card and pockets it, staring intently. Near looks blandly back at him. There is not a trace of recognition in those eyes.

Has Mello really changed that much? Sure, he’s got the scar, now, which does cover about thirty-five percent of his face, but he’s not that much taller or broader than when they graduated, and the parts of his face that weren’t burnt to a crisp are more or less the same as they’ve always been. It seems hard to believe that Near would really not recognize him.

“Sorry,” Mello says after way-too-long, again. “I talked to someone else, at the office. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Your initial consultation was with my partner, but he is with another client— a severe spirit infestation. I’m sure you understand.” Near smiles; it looks stiff, and strange, like an expression practiced in the mirror, but not perfected. When they were younger, he only smiled in a weird, spooky way, but it was a sincere expression. This one is hollow. “I have familiarized myself with your case, and I am confident in my readiness to handle it, if you will allow me to.”

If he recognizes Mello, he really doesn’t wanna let on— not that Mello can blame him for it.

“Right, of— of course. Come in,” he tells Near, stumbling as he steps aside.

“The notes from your intake interview indicated that you predominantly encounter the spirit in your bedroom,” says Near, his voice echoing off the wooden walls. “I assume that’s upstairs, but I would like to walk through the ground level of the house, first. In homes as old as this one, there are frequently multiple presences, but if one is potent enough, it may prevent the others from manifesting until it is exorcised. I would be dissatisfied if I failed to resolve your problem in a single visit.”

Mello winces at something (real or imagined) in Near’s tone. Subtext: I’m gonna be pissed if I have to see you again.

“Right.” Mello trails after him. “Yeah, uh— I mean, look wherever. I’m not— I’m not unpacked, but—”

“Interesting,” Near interrupts, though the word is spoken softly. “You said the presence is a child, correct?”

“Yeah.” Mello studies Near’s profile as the younger boy crouches to trace the wall. “It’s, uh. This old-timey looking kid. Victorian, I think.”

“I see.” He hums, and presses a hand to a crack in the plaster. “Ah. Your insulation is inadequate. There’s a draft here.”

“Oh,” Mello says. “How do I fix that?”

Near stands, brushing his hands off on his pants. “I have no idea. Let’s move on.” 

[lydiablack-m]

It’s Mihael... Mihael Keehl... |Mello x Reader|

Pairing: Mello x Reader

Warnings: Angst, heavy angst, hurt/comfort/hurt, reader is from Wammy's house, the story takes place the night before Mello's attempt to kidnap Kiyomi

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: yep, I did it again, posting for Death Note, while having a dozen fandoms to write for.

P.S. I don’t know, if anyone ever said this, but Mello OWNS the Leave My Body song by Fever Dreamer. The heavens said so, not me. Highly recommend to listen to it while reading as did I for about 5 hours in a row. 

"This work can be considered as the second part of the storyline. The other parts you may find here"

Another sleepless night, full of endless calculations, checking maps and plans again and again. Another night that he spends alone, sending her to sleep and listening to the beeping of computer signals from the next room, where Matt is working on hacking city networks.

 Another night... The air rings in the ears with increasing tension, the blood beats an uneven pulse in the temples, forcing to frown painfully and clench the fists, so that nails scratch the palms.

 He heard a slight rustle at the door and turned around. A young girl stood in the doorway, rubbing sleepy eyes with her sleeve.

 “Hey, are you okay?” His tired gaze, clouded from long work at the computer, began to clear up, and softness flashed across his face.

 “I can't sleep,” you muttered, leaning against the door frame. “I’ve been thinking...  Are you sure this is gonna work out?”

 His face became serious and detached again, he turned back to the monitor.

 “I'm sure,” he said shortly.

 “I'm sorry ...” you guiltily lowered your eyes to the floor. “It’s just... I'm just afraid of losing you, you know...” You looked up at him and your lips trembled. “I'm afraid of losing you and Matt, I'm afraid to stand on your graves and mourn your short lives, cursing myself for not being careful enough, not being attentive enough. I'm afraid to go back to an empty dark apartment where your voice will never sound again. I'm afraid to be left alone...”

 You gently put your hands on his shoulders, and buried your nose in the golden hair, inhaling the barely discernible scent of engine oil and heavy cologne. Memories flashed in your head of the day when, along with a bag of daily products, Mello brought an extremely expensive bottle from the store, which he stole from under the noses of the guards.

 Over the years of working for the mafia, he got used to a luxurious life, got used to the fact that he could indulge his little weaknesses, get everything that he could not have in the Wammy's house. Now he no longer had the funds of the mafia, but no one could take away his skills and ability to get anything he wanted.

 “Please... I beg you... Let me stay near you,” you whispered. “Please, let me help. If something happens to you, I will never forgive myself for inaction, when maybe I could have saved you. I beg... Please...”

 You heard Mello sigh heavily and covered your hand with his palm, slightly squeezing.

 “Y/n... You're everything I have, everything I've ever needed... I want you to be happy, I want Matt to be happy. I want both of you to live your long and happy lives. But mine... I lived long enough to make dozen mistakes and... I don't care anymore... If I'm going to die this time it will be just a part of the investigation, just a piece of puzzle for Near to solve. I already know, that I'm not the one to end this. I never was.”

 The way he said it, the sharp bitterness and doom in his words made your heart sink. You felt like something broke inside you. For the first time he accepted his defeat. For the first time, you felt scared.

 Your fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt as you clenched your teeth to keep from crying of helplessness.  

 “Please... Don't say it like you don't care about your death.” you wheezed. “I'll kill them all. I'll come to their fucking headquarters and kill everyone. I'll kill them for you. One of them is Kira, so I won't miss. I will kill everyone. I... don't want to live without you. If you die, I can't...”

 Your hands were trembling and you shut your eyes to do not let the tears flow. You couldn't say it, as if the mere thought of the possibility of a negative outcome was a betrayal, as if you were giving up on him.

 A quiet sob escaped from your throat, causing Mello to flinch and turn to you.

 “I don't want to lose you again…”

 You couldn't hold the tears anymore and covered your face with your palms. With every second it seemed to you as if reality was slipping away, as if everything was happening outside of your consciousness and you couldn't help it. Over the past few months, Mello has been distancing from you, completely devoting his strength, energy and rage to the investigation. You didn't interfere because you understand how important it was, but now... Everything had gone too far and you couldn’t fix it anymore.

 You felt hands fall on your trembling shoulders and Mello pressed you to him, nuzzling the curve of your neck. You shut your eyes and pressed closer, clinging to him like a life-saving straw, holding together the fragments of your world falling apart, breaking at the seams.

 “I love you,” he murmured into your neck. “I love you with all my fucking heart. If we were in another world... In another life... If we could be like this forever...”

 “But we can,” you pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Mello, we still can do that. Let's quit the investigation, let's move somewhere unknown, buy a tiny cottage in a quiet village and do some shitty normal stuff other people do. Run a business, buy a dog...

 Please Mello... I thought... I thought we could’ve become a family…” you timidly looked into his eyes. “You, me, Matt... What more could we want?..”

 His long searching gaze seemed to look through you, into the very soul, laying out each of its components, studying and exposing all hidden fears, worries, hopes. You got scared that you said too much, that you could damage the fragile connection between you, that you disappointed him.

 He quietly raised his hand and touched your cheek. His thin fingers weightlessly outlined the line of your cheekbones, descending to the lips. He touched the lower lip with his thumb and pulled softly.

 There was still doubt in his gaze, but you saw how his eyes were filling with calmness and the heaviness of tension was fading away.

 He gently lifted your chin and moved closer to your lips.

 “You know... in the end every time you appear to be right,” he chuckled bitterly, shortening the distance between you.

 You felt the metallic taste and the rough skin of the lips, bitten in moments of nervous tension. Your hand gently tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, softly stroking the place of the scar on his beautiful face. He deepened the kiss, pulling you closer by the waist and guiding your chin with two fingers.

 Lately, when the investigation occupied all his thoughts, there was nothing but a brief kiss, fleeting sparks of feelings, unconscious hugs, when you happen to sleep together. Now he was kissing you sincerely, demanding, tenderly, as if begging you for something that you couldn't understand yet. As if he was speaking in another language, afraid to say out loud what he had to say long ago.

 “I love you,” he whispered into your lips, pulling away.

 Now you saw in front of you nothing but a boy from the Wammy's house, the one you remembered so well, the one that shared his dreams and achievements with you, the one that beat the walls and swore to win Near during the next test. The boy who came to your room and made a promise to find you, looking at you with a long wistful gaze, before leaving the Wammy's house forever.

 “Y/n, I... I cannot change it anymore. We have to do it tomorrow. And we will. It's more than me, it's more than us. I know what I gotta do and I will do it. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I cannot promise you anything this time... I will try my best for you, but... You have to know, no matter what's gonna happen tomorrow, I love you and I always will. Don't blame yourself, alright? You couldn't change anything. You're the best thing ever happened to me and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

 He once again pressed your hand tight and quickly headed back to the computer, as if he was afraid that at any moment, something in him could overpower, break his determination.

 “I hid the rest of the mafia's savings in the basement. They will be enough to change documents and buy real estate in Canada. They're yours now, and... Take care of Matt, okay?”

 You walked stiff-legged to the door, realizing this was the end. You failed. Your throat was dry, your tongue wouldn't obey you, there was a fog in your head, as if you could pass out at any minute.

 “And... One more thing.” he said quietly over his shoulder. “I know, maybe it's stupid but... I want you to know my name. In the end... I don't want you to remember me as Mello...

 It's Mihael...

 Mihael Keehl.”

[pillow-anime-talk]

gender swap.

request: how do you think a female wammy’s boys, lawliet and light would be?

# tags: headcanons; gender swap; slice of life; mostly fluff; maybe angst or drama; also comedy (a bit); sfw

includes: light yagami, l lawliet, beyond birthday, nate river, mail jeevas & mihael keehl {death note}

— LIGHT

↘ Oh, she is definitely one of the most beautiful women in the university and gets a scholarship every year for her academic achievements. She is not competitive and doesn’t try to be; she simply has an innate talent for quickly remembering informations and numbers and uses it to get the best grades, and thus awards or recognition among professors.

↘ She is not very interested in relationships; many boys chase after her, but she doesn’t care at all. Brown-haired girl much more prefers to focus on her career and private goals (both in the Kira case and her job in the investigative department).

↘ Nevertheless, if the situation requires it, she will use her charm and grace to achieve what she needs. This woman will stop at nothing when her own life is at stake.

— LAWLIET

↘ I imagine she’s wearing these cool, fluffy hoodies and huge pants tightly tightened around the waist. She is the definition of a woman who likes to play video games, drink energy drinks, watch anime and sit in her own room (alone).

↘ Just like the original L, she also likes sweets and juicy fruits. I imagine her favorites are mango or peaches. In my head I think that she is a vegetarian and cooks well to maintain a healthy, balanced diet based on the right products.

↘ She is an introvert and it’s hard to make friends with her, even though I personally find her a very attractive woman. However, she seems to be unapproachable and therefore has no success in friendship or love.

— BEYOND

↘ She is a loner who devotes herself to her own projects. She has at most one friend, but she lives alone in a small studio apartment with her beloved cat (she is definitely a cat-person).

↘ She studies criminology or forensic psychology and likes to listen to podcasts. She has very good grades, but very rarely appears in class (he comes to universities only when there are exams). The professors have no problem with her, but they know that she is a rather mysterious girl who struggles with personal problems. Nevertheless, she does very well, although she is an outcast.

↘ That girl enjoys night time and loves spending time with her cat while watching crime shows on Netflix. She definitely has trouble sleeping.

— NATE

↘ Another nerd. The best student in the year, the best student in the field and the best student in the entire university. In addition, she is artistically and musically talented (playing the violin and piano, #canon). Although she doesn’t have many friends, she is quite popular and her white hair catches the eye of most students. She is very liked by the professors, even if she looks at the window during classes and does not write anything in her notebook.

↘ I think she is fluent in French, German, English, Japanese and Swedish. She likes to learn new things – she remembers everything so easily. And also has a natural talent for this type of thing.

↘ She doesn’t have a driving license and is afraid to drive. She’s definitely using other people for a free ride.

— MAIL

↘ Not studying. I think she found work as a graphic designer, game tester or digital game designer. It’s something she likes and she’s really good at it. In the future, she would like to set up her own studio where she would create games.

↘ I have a vision in my head that she is sharing a room in an apartment with several people and she is that girl who likes to party and come home late. Plus, she smokes cigarettes and likes to sleep in late – a real example of a bad girl you don’t have to worry about if your boyfriend hangs out with her after school on a project.

↘ Nevertheless, she is a girl who sleeps with her favorite stuffed animal at night and I have no excuse for that, I just feel in my heart that she has a little brown teddy bear without one eye that she got from her favorite grandma and always sits on her bed waiting for her to come home.

— MIHAEL 

↘ She has many friends, but only one true bestie, with whom she is perfectly matched in characters. She swears, she smokes, she’s always late, she’s sophisticated, she’ll take your boyfriend away if you get in her way... She does not like nosy people and gossip about herself, which is why she always deals with such matters personally, preferably behind the walls of the building or between the garages.

↘ She is brutal and emotionless. She has definitely not yet met a person who could heal this little, wishing for happiness heart. Currently, she lives alone and spent nights in the arms of random men. She doesn’t mind.

↘ Somewhere in the back of my mind I have a vision that she has been to the police station more than once for theft or battery. But she has a rich dad, so she gets away with everything. 

[lightyaoigami]

domicile || near's birthday || day 2: memory

rating: G | category: gen | chapters: 1/1 | words: <500

“Roger.”

Mello strode purposefully into the administrator's office without knocking.

“Good evening to you too, Mr. Keehl,” replied Roger, bemused. He had been in the middle of removing a bag of chamomile tea from his large white mug with the Wammy crest emblazoned on its side.

Mello straightened his posture. He couldn't back down now—not when he had stormed out of his room and barged into Roger’s office well after quiet hours.

He inhaled, deep and slow, through his nose.

“I need,” he said calmly, “a room reassignment.”

Roger raised his eyebrows. Mello laced his hands together at his waist. He almost started to explain himself, but thought better of it before his lips could move.

Roger placed one hand overtop of his mug and looked at his desk. Mello couldn't read his face; Roger was always a bit more taciturn than Watari, and for this Mello preferred his counsel.

He lifted the mug to his lips and took a sip. “Mm. Chamomile is so calming before bed. Can I offer you a mug of your own, Mihael?”

“No, sir. But, please, my room—”

“Is there an issue with Nathaniel?” Roger asked, speaking deliberately.

“Yes,” Mello said too-quickly. “He's horrible. He pours out my cordial and he puts my toothbrush on the carpet so it gets all hairy. He throws out my socks and cuts holes in my underpants.”

Roger looked surprised. “Holes in your underpants,” he repeated.

“Well,” Mello said. He did this sometimes, lying for effect. It worked on most grown-ups. Most people, even. But it didn't always work on Roger, and it never worked on Near. “One pair. It might—maybe it was the washing machine. But the point is—”

“Mello?”

A small voice came from somewhere behind him, and the back of Mello’s neck burned. He turned slowly over his shoulder to see Near inching past the doorframe into Roger's office.

“Ooh, tea,” Near said. “Roger, may I have some?” His voice had a tone of smugness to it that only Mello could hear—it made Mello dig his nails into his palm to keep from screaming.

“Of course, son,” Roger said jovially. “I'm glad you're here. Now, Nathaniel—perhaps you could illuminate some things for me. Mihael's underwear, for instance.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

Near smiled. Mello turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

[fan-therapy]

How would the wammy boys (and Light) take to a reader who dresses grungy metalhead style and listens to nirvana SOAD koRn and Slipknot and is antisocial and clingy to them also GN reader and preferably headcannons (established relationships because duh) sorry if it's kinda long but I want to know if they'd like me

Wammy Boys with a Grungy Metalhead Reader

hi! so i made these all SFW, also im not super familiar with the metal scene but i tried my best! i hope you enjoy it! thanks for the request anon <3

L Lawliet 🍰

-he doesn't really get it at first.

-he thinks its a little strange, the music you listen to.

-also, the clothes?

-he just wonders why you wear so many dark colors!

-on the personality part, he surprisingly lovessss the clinginess

-he doesn't mind having you clutching onto him and sitting with him while he works! he likes it!

-he's also antisocial, so he likes that definitely <3

Near/Nate River 🧩

-he loves the style!

-he thinks the look is really cool, even if he doesn't think he himself would dress that way

the music, though, is another story

-i'll say now that it's NOT a deal-breaker for him

-but he doesn't like it.

-he thinks it's too loud and intense and overwhelming. he's the type of person to listen to classical so metal is too much for him tbh

-just like L, he's also antisocial, so he likes that aspect of your personality. the clingy side of things isn't an issue either. he doesn't mind it!

Matt/Mail Jeevas 🎮

-oh god he ADORES you.

he's not antisocial so he might try to pull you out of your little hole, but he's also okay with sitting back and playing some games with you

-hes even clingier than you lmao...

-like, he LOVES your attention. he needs it and he thrives on it.

-he loves everything about you.

-especially your style! he thinks you look so cool.

-when you two started dating, he was introduced to metal for the first time and now he's fully obsessed with it.

Mello/Mihael Keehl 🍫

-i think he also likes metal!

-he listens to the same bands, goes to the same concerts, all of that

-when he was younger, he might have even tried making some metal music himself.

-y'all dress kinda similar too, so you go together really well.

-you would totally go to concerts together but that's not relevant

-on the clingy side of things, he might not always be super affectionate but he won't ever get pissed at you for wanting his attention

-he doesn't mind your antisocalness, he's not too antisocial but he doesn't really mind that you are!

Light Yagami 📓

-good lord you two are polar opposites.

-like, he can't stand metal music and says it distracts him and makes his head hurt

-but if you really wanna listen to it, he won't stop you. he might just put some earplugs in though...

-he doesn't mind your clothes.

-like, he thinks it's cool, but he's not nearly as obsessed with it as matt.

-he will never ever stop you from clinging onto him. he doesn't mind it at all, so why should he stop you?

-he does try to get you out of your shell though!